Lass's Tear

Lily looked up at the moon as she slipped through the streets, the bag at her shoulder clinking occasionally as some of the packed items found their way to each other through the tangle of cloths. It had been a while since she last set out by herself, she reflected as her steps carried her down familiar trods, the pavement welcoming beneath the thin soles of her shoes.

She stopped at a cross way and hefted the bag in her hand contemplatively. She'd need money, and she had enough to get her to the next challenge, she thought ruefully. The question was where to cash in for a return. She leaned against a wall, watching a few of the passing people with interest through half closed eyes before settling on a friend in the underworld. He always picked the most interesting targets, she smiled, and turned down the right hand path.

i flex my leg and arm thats when i hear it a sing song voice coming from nowhere "hello little thief". i look around me and stand up i yell at the voice "where are you! show yourself!" the voice cackles madly "im inside you fool" the voice gets louder and a tone of violence enters it "IM THE POWER YOU STOLE!" i sit down on the bed "i stole nothing!" i say defensively the voice laughs it is a cruel mirthless laughter "oh but you did and you arent getting your little dear back unless you do EXACTLY as i tell you" i hear kious voice scream from my room a tear comes to my eye and i try to push it away.

Crying. Someone is crying. I sit up in bed. Beside me, Djhuety murmurs something incomprehensible. "Go back to sleep." I murmur, stroking his hair and slipping my power into the words. He subsides, and I lie back beside him, closing my eyes.
Strange dreams. Again.
Well, no wonder, given what's going on. All that's going on.
I stare at the dark cieling, listening to Ailin and Isis chitter and snore on their pillow on the dresser. Ailin used to share the bed with me, but we learned pretty fast that it was going to be untenable when two people were in the bed.
I sigh. I wish I could be as carefree as them. As at peace. As it is, I feel like I've got a lead weight on my chest. Everything is happening too fast, too suddenly. And every time I get something figured out....I smirk as a line of Billy Joel goes through my head. As fast as I can climb
A new disaster every time I turn around
As soon as I get one fire put out
There's another building burning down

Got that right.
I roll over, staring at the moonbeams on the wall. A few hours ago, everyone was happy. Why the hell did Lily have to go and do such a fool thing?
And why did everyone else have to react like that?
It's like dominoes. Everything's fine, and then a slight touch, and whoops, lives are falling down.
And I couldn't stop it.
Those twenty minutes trapped have got to be some of the longest in my life. Trapped, immobile, unable to act. I HATE feeling trapped. And yet, of late, my life itself feels like a trap, like a net, slowly tightening and tightening, cutting off more and more paths until...
I heave a sigh, and slip from bed. Lying in the dark and agonizing is useless.
Standing, I start for the door...then glance at my travel bag for a long, long moment. Well, times are dire. Perhaps this would be a proper time. At least I'd have someone to take my troubles to who would understand, whether they can help or not.
I slip the bag over my shoulder. Yes. It will feel good to unburden all these worries I cannot bear.
Naked, I pad down the hall, peeking into Kiou's room. Asleep, and with a quiet mind. Good. I slip into the bathroom, locking the door, then into the bath house. Once in the water, I reach behind me, reach down deep into the very bottom of my bag, and into the hidden compartment inside. My heart gives a comfortable little lurch as I feel it against my skin. It's been a long time since I held my naming in my hands.
Gently, I spread the soft bundle out on the surface of the water. It's in the shape of an otter's pelt, but larger than any otter. The water barely dampens it.
Wrapping it about me like a cloak, I sink to my knees in the water, closing my eyes.
"O Grandfather," I whisper in the language I was born speaking, 'O Grandfather. Grandfather of Us All. The water is clouded, and your child cries. Hear me, Grandfather. The current is muddied and I cannot find my way."
Haltingly, whispering, I speak of all that troubles my heart. I speak of my hurting friends. I speak of Lily's blindness and her fear, of Kiou's terrible other side, of all the pain buried in Sori, and the sheer wrongness in her blood and what I fear it one day might cause. I speak of the coming task, and of my terror that it will all go wrong, that I won't be strong enough to do what needs be done, and that my meddling in great affairs will only drive the wedge deeper and do harm to my people. My voice comes out tight, choked. And here, I can cry as much as I need.
The water holds me like the arms of a friend, swirling about me. I can feel a slight current, even in this still pool. I let the fear and the anger and the pain pour out. Grandfather Otter will understand. Whatever else I am, I am his child. My naming wraps tight about me, silky smooth and as comforting as the arms of my mother.
Quietly, fervently, I speak my prayer into the quiet and the water.

i put on a businesslike manner "what do you want?" the voice goes back to the sing song tone "seeeet meeeee freeeee" i ask "how?" it replies "start by going out".

i get dressed grab a vz 58 rifle and strap a revolver across my chest, i sling the sword over my back and go out carving erratically on the kitchen table "the voice has kiou im going to get her".

"Back now, are we?"

Lily smiles, deftly slipping her assailant's grip, "Bad pennies and rot always come around again." The man steps from the shadow, his hat brim pulled low to hide his eyes and she smiles brightly up at him. "Any new business, Charles?"

"Must you call me that?"

"What else?" the impudence in her voice causes him to grind his teeth.

"Aconite would be a good start, Muguet" He says in exasperation, "But you never did take to the names, did you, Lily? Shall we sow once more?"

"Can't think of anything I'd rather do," Lily sighs, taking his arm. "Lead the way, Buttercup."

She smiles as Aconite growls, but leads the way deeper into the underground.

In the dark, things slither and slide, moving away from the bobbing light. But there are a few things that draw near, hungering for the light as much as they fear it. Or, perhaps, for unwitting prey.

i follow the instructions of the voice and end up in a smelly candlelit tavern i look around and sit down.

Finally, my voice falls into silence, and peace replaces the ache in my heart, the torrent in my head. Peace, slow ripples, the warmth of a family den in winter. For a long time, I float, quiet in heart, quiet in mind. Quieter than I've felt in far too long.
But I'd better get out of here eventually. No sense lying here until someone walks in.
Standing, I wring out my hair, then lift my bag. Stepping out of the bathroom, I turn, hand on the knot of my naming about my throat. Better put this away.
The floor creaks. I look up, barely holding down a gasp.
"Hey. Thought you were asleep."

"Not when you're gone." Djehuty reaches and touches her shoulder, gentle pressure through the naming before tracing up her neck to her cheek. "I think my sleep patterns are drifting."

"Bad idea to copy mine." I murmur, trying to slip past, "A human would do badly on Dratsie circadian rythms."

"I'll adapt." He smiles. "Not all human, after all... Besides, you where nice things when you think I'm not looking."

Despite myself, I wince. "You're not supposed to see me in this, really. Not until...we don't show them to our partners until we're married." I look away from his eyes.

Raising an eyebrow, he shrugs. "Else it'll be stolen. The story is an old one meant to breed paranoia in youth." He leans against the wall and slides to the floor, his improvised kilt riding up a bit as he settles. "Worse then the Christians and their virgins."

I shake my head. "It's not..." I pause, searching for words. "It's a lot more than that." It's dark in here. He won't see I've been crying. And he can't see my name. Thanks be to gods for small mercies.
I start to undo the tie, but his hand stops mine.

"So, it's your self." He moves his hand to her side. "It's bad practice to pour to much of your being into something that can be lost or give another power over you. I like the hill folk's practice better. They intermingle rather then bind. One soul in two parts; one may die but the whole goes on to share with more. True names evolving."

I smile slightly. "It's not bound, and it...well, it's...it does change, as I do, it's...." I sigh. "This is hard to translate. Come back into the bedroom. I don't want to be caught standing out in the hall."

"Indeed," he says, pulling himself to his feet. "But you will explain this to me."

Together, we sit on the edge of our bed, the door closing behind us. I draw my naming closer about me; it's cold outside the bath. I draw a deep breath. "Okay. I've told you before that Selkie are the closest cousins we have. You've heard the selkie tales?"

"And the stolen skins." He sighs, "Though I doubt their skin has anything to do with shifting after seeing you."

I shake my head. "It doesn't. Mankind got that wrong. These are....the word we use is naming, or soul-skin. By the third day of a baby's life, they have a naming woven by their parents. And into it is woven a drop of blood and a hair. And the name. The naming will grow with the child. The name will change. But it is always a part of us. It is us, in a way."

"And how was this thought to be wise, to make court cloths that grant another power over you?" He lies back on the bed. "There are cultures that burn their hair and nail so they can't be used against them, and your's makes them a garment, special, true, but more dangerous. You've lost your bag before."

I nod. "know. I shouldn't really put it in there. But it's more convenient and safer than anything else I could do. And I...Most of my people don't carry theirs with them. They keep them hidden and safe. Or they sew other garments around them, to hide them. But I travel, and I need to be more versatile with my clothes. So that's how I handle it." Thinking over his words. shrug. "It is dangerous. Sometimes Selkie lose their skins, Manitou do too, and Trenvay and Kitsune as well as my own folk. We all have to be careful. But it's necessary, too." I lay a hand on my naming. "These aren't court clothes, ever. They're...they're for something a lot more important than that."

The commotion of the house a few hours before still has me on edge, It is difficult to leave an alchemaic process alone for more then a moment if you are experienced and I can safely say I am not. they gave me this memory back so I might as well test some of the theory I know and building things is fun, almost absolving of how much i had destroyed in my long life. It took a great deal to not leave my room and find out what the hell the others were doing but I thought it safer to leave them too it then blow the lot of us up with a Nacrogen-Primus fusion reaction if i had done this wrong. Finally tightening the last screws in place I slide the whole thing into a small bag and set it aside, now is not the time for gifts but it needed to be finished so that if our business gets done well it is congratulations and if it goes poorly it is "well you tried your best and that should be rewarded." the downside is that now I can't sleep despite the time i have been awake I feel like i have slept for a week and need to move, so getting up I adjourn myself to the kitchen and begin bustling about to make some form of snack, with some chamomile tea to help when the high from the working wears off and I crash. "when someone comes in i need to find out what the yelling, and gunshots where all about." I mutter.

i look around and see a bunch of harsh looking blonde men in one booth a scrawnier looking fellow has his face down the table, one of them approaches me he eyes me up and down and sits on the barstool next to me i eye him up and down hes got heavy scarring and hairy muscled arms and a beard hes wearing a tanktop that reveals a hammer tattoo over his heart hes obviously a hard man, his voice is rough like a stone "so what is someone as pretty as you doing packing so many guns lass?" i take a sip from the whiskey i ordered "none of your business".i

"Bet she tastes sweet." one of the men murmurs, leering at a companion. The other man guffaws. "Think we should give 'er a try?"