Stormclouds

I close my eyes, squeezing back tears. "That bloody thing..."

"... is the best way to protect what you love."

I meet his eyes. "I can't." My words are barely a whisper, choked with tears on the brink of shedding. "I couldn't protect my family. I can't protect my friends. And then the Ladies think I should protect my people?" I swallow hard. "It will...I...if I try this, I'll destroy my people. They'll tear themselves apart fighting over whether I should be ard ri. I'm so afraid of that. So afraid. I...I can't stand it. We've lost so much already...a war...it would destroy us. I...I won't be the cause of that. I....I can't." The tears are hot on my skin. "I can't." I stare at him, imploring. He has to understand...

"Your so selfish," He says, shaking his head. "Claim what is yours, and at least we'll have a real fight on our hands, one that we can pick."

Anger snarls up in my belly. "Selfish? Selfish?! You....prick! You arrogant bastard! I tell you I don't want power at the expense of a war, and I'm selfish?! You...." I stand, back stiff, but a hand pulls me back onto the bed. I twist with a hiss. "Let go."

"Ah, no, Milady," he grimaces under her glare, then straightens and returns it. "War doesn't go away for denying it. The Voice of God called the plow maid to save her people." He stops to let the words sink.

"Joan of Arc." I whisper. I know the story. I loved it, and learned it well.
"Is this why....I didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to deal with it. Wanted it to go away. That was what angered you?"

Nodding, he rolls to his stomach. "History would choose another, but the second is rarely the better swordsman. Grandmother has her reasons, Love."

"Grandmothers. Yours and mine. The whole breed..." I growl, dropping down beside him. For a long moment, I stare at the ceiling, blinking back tears. "I'm scared." I whisper hoarsely. "I'm so scared..."

He rolls over and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close. "Not right now," he whispers in her ear, pulling her hair from her temple and kissing it.

Gratefully, I wrap my arms around him. "I'll keep trying. You keep reminding me. Deal?"

"Every one needs their voice," he murmurs, "Just don't wander too far, Dearest."

"I'll do my best." I whisper, burying my face in his chest, drying my tears on his shirt. The feel of his arms around me is like warm water poured over ice, washing the pain away as I relax into his embrace.

i open my eyes and see a blinding light, sit up and ruffle my left hand through my hair only to find my hand is missing! infact my whole arm is, i look around and see im on the couch in the barrow i lean up against the couch and try to run through my head whats happened.

"We couldn't Find it" I say to Sori as she tries to get her barrings "Figured it got thrown well clear of where we where by the blast." I roll my shoulders as I pace a bit. "Nice job with the fireworks by the way."

i shake my head and say "uh yeah thanks oil tanker you know" i look around "what about my pistol? or my sword? or the radio?".

"Pistol was gone with the blast, the sword is in your room, and the radio was fried, sorry" I shrug "not much else to tell you." I get up and start to pace slowly. "I am getting tired of being reactionary." I murmur more to myself then anyone "things like tonight aren't supposed to happen in groups" more musing "the rules are changing and we need to keep up." the wheels in my head keep turning new idea's and discarding them since sori is awake and likely to be ok. "but how do we have the upper hand when we usually don't know they are there till they are on top of us."

i look at him "i think tonight went well all things considered i mean il bounce back soon enough and noone died".

I shake my head for a minute unaware that I was muttering to myself "sorry, just don't like being ambushed and that is what happened." my smile becomes slightly malicious as I remember the effectiveness of the rust dust on our attackers. "I am open to suggestion, unfortunately I think we need to do some research and I am at a disadvantage for that."

i shake my head "we wont be able to use the dust you used what if theres wind? that will hit liv too and we cant use a grenade or rely on my fire too much either sadly most area of effect weapons are rather indiscriminate" i think "we can design a bio weapon and a vaccine or something that makes our reaction faster" after thinking about what i said "of course im not suggesting we bio bomb the nightside".

I shake my head " if the goal is to unite kindred and men then we can't really kill them off, yes the rust worked in a one time use short range area but it isn't an answer either." I sigh and continue my pacing "the problem is that so much of the information we have is sketchy or outright wrong. yes for fighting them we have a lot of tested and true methods, but for diplomacy? not so much."

Kiou joined them from the kitchen with a sigh. "Diplomacy? I have only heard of diplomatic marriages.... Or war... Is there another way?"

i sigh and run my hand through my hair "yeah we negotiate and come to terms of an agreement".

"Our songstress had a nearly impossible task laid at her feet" I say slowly "if it were to be war at least at this moment it would be" I count off on my fingers "six, seven if you decided to help against as many as are thrown against us. not sure what we can count on from allies on either side of the fence"

I sigh softly. "If nothing else, you can count on my blade. I will do what I can to defend those so eager to defend me when I needed it."