The Crone, The Matron and The Maid

I may not be able to squirm free, but I am able to draw my blade and poke it through an opening in the blankets.

Seeing the bright flash of her blade when it comes out of the blankets I opt to accept her help and use it to cut open a bag of mixed frozen fruit. I dump the second bag down her back "are you done kaija?" he my voice is still too calm but maybe she will start to listen

I glare at him with a fierce, icy glazed look. "Am I done? ME?" I close my eyes and do my best to turn away from him.

at this point i let go of the bags and the blanket instead taking her chin, and making her look at me "Yes Kaija you." I my voice is Low "I don't understand your actions Kaija. I want to but I don't" i sink down on the side of the bed waiting to hear her answer " so rather then yelling at me, or playing the slave girl, why don't you talk to me"

I curl away from him yet still look him in the eyes "Because you never listen."

"really?" I lilt my head to the side "hmm," I shake my head "then try now" is the only option i have to say "besides, it is better then food coloring in the bath" I smile

"It's not important, just go see what Djheuty is up to." I roll and turn my back to him.

"nope i am going to sit here and wait till you talk Kaija" and I tilt my head again "quicker you talk quicker i leave you in peace"

"Do you love her? Is she more important to you than I am?" I speak into the pillow, muffling my words so badly I wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't understand them.

I place my hand on her back gently "kaija, neither lily nor Liv, is more important then you are to me. I am grateful to Liv, she brought us all together, and more importantly brought the last of my family back to me. I don't know what to think of Lily yet, respect her abilities yes, will i watch her back? yes. am I in love with her?" I let the words hang for a moment "No i am not." I sigh "the lot of us are building a family now, and it sounds like we are building even more." I shake my head "the road ahead is going to be hard, and it is going to test all of us."

"I...don't...care...about...the...road...ahead..." I say each word with a new punch into his chest. I hit hard as I say "I care about the one behind."

the hits are solid but there isn't much behind them "Kaija" I say calmly "What about the road behind?" I begin running my hand slow and reassuring along her back, like when we were kids and she was sick "What is bothering you"

"You picked her over me. You broke the promise. I don't matter to you." I say looking him straight in the eye.

"is that really what you think Kaija" I ask "I didn't pick her over you." I cup her face with my hand "Yes i left you behind, with ignacy since he was the one they were after. i needed someone i knew i could trust here because they would likely have come for him. they already had Liv, who else should have been here? an untried girl or a seasoned warrior?"

"Ghost of my brother, what was your promise to me? Do you remember that close to your death? Do you remember the final night on the ship?"

" to always fight as equals" I say "that only validates what i said Kaija" I breath deeply " I am no Draugr, not anymore, I am sorry that my judgement call hurt you Kaija, but the decision wasn't so that i could protect you, it was so you would be here to protect Ignacy, how did he get out anyways? the door was sealed" my thumb brushes on her cheek "in a fight there is no one i would prefer at my back, but i can't always have you at my back, sometimes there are just as important places to be in a fight." I sigh "gods i wish father were here he could explain it so much better"

"Father would have been on my side. Equals give each other a choice. As equals one does not simply boss the other around. And what kind of protective brother would leave his sister with a man like him? A vulnerable young girl and a ladies man? What about the way you used to at least slightly hurt my suitors? Used to be no one was good for me, now I'm good enough for no man?" I look at the floor, wondering what this land had done to my brother. I sigh and roll away from him again, "Just go away"

i sigh "Kaija what choice did I have exactly? it isn't like i had a lot of time, and ladies man? you give him too much credit. and yourself not enough, if he had tried anything you would have fed him his manhood with a smile and we both know it." here i have to pause for breath. "The men, and I use the term lightly, who i would keep broke, where the ones who only wanted to pay your bride price to "tame" you. as if you were some horse to be broken and left in the stable. " the words twist my mouth into a distasteful grimace "what kind of brother would want that for any member of their family?" I take a moment to consider my words "Kaija, i know everything that happened seems like it wasn't that long ago to you. but for me it has been many many years. most of which were spent looking for a girl whose name i didn't know to find out a past i couldn't remember" I let the words hang for a moment " and father would be telling us to shut the hell up and act like adults dammit or he would be leaving both of us behind on the next raid" I offer a smile "telling you to quit having a tantrum and then proceeding to trounce me in a practice match to hammer the point home about moral and respect, and how pride is the enemy of success."

Knowing he still doesn't understand what exactly got under my skin, I just shrug and close my eyes.

I sigh again "Kaija I am sorry" is all I can think to say. making as if to stand

I feel your weight lift off the bed, "Brother," I turn and grab your hand. "Father never would have wanted an argument to end like this-both sides admitting defeat." I sit and pat a spot on the bed next to me.

I sit "That is true but it feels like there is no winner this time" the words are heavy and for the first time i am feeling my age

I bow my head sincerely before looking at hiim again, "I beg to differ" I smile as I shove him down to the bed and cuddle into his chest for safety like I used to do when we were kids. "I know you care now" and with these words the tears begin to fall. "Just remember to notice me every once in a while."

I nod and wrap and arm around her shoulders knowing that she needs to cry "I always cared," I smile softly seeming about to sleep fall asleep "gods long days aren't they?

"I guess you still don't understand...I just want to make you proud. Just one bloody time. Lady Brigid help me, I'll do it some day. It may be because of my brain or braun or beauty or my gift" I smile and begin to doze off in my safe place. "Jst be proud of me someday, when I earn it. Notice me in that way"