Through the Looking Glass

"And no more elves!" I crow, "It's like Munchkin Land after a barn hits Miss Witch. Ding-dong!" I hum the amusing and somewhat annoying little showtune, taking another bite of breakfast.

I almost roll my eyes at the banter concentrating more on the food we are going to need all the energy we can get my head snaps up suddenly "Lily can you lock away things?" I tilt my head to the side as the idea hit me.

"Easy as opening them." She looks at Liam quizzically. "Needin' the latch lass in some insanity?"

"no I would rather you locked away my necromantic abilities." My voice comes out low "They just plain aren't worth the risk" looking between Liv and Dejhuty "what?"

I meet Liam's eyes. "That's brave of you. Quite brave. And quite wise, if you like being alive. On the other hand...you'll be left living on your wits and your strength. No other assistance. You sure you can handle that?"

Glancing between Lily and Liam, Djehuty shows concern in his face. "Is that safe for Lily?" He says, resting a hand on her shoulder.

A bolt of bright red anger and purple pride shoot through Lily's mind, undercut with...oh dear, pink. Infatuation. Now I know why she's glaring at me anyway. I smile. "Considering what she's done so far, I'd say she's well up to it. What say you kid? Want to give it a shot?"

"Lets Get Kaija First, she could at least help with isolating that ability." I shrug "she has been left out a bit much don't you agree?"

i strap into the outfit i was coerced out of last night put my pistol in my holster and my knife in my boot sheeth i strap my sword across my back, i walk out still wearing a pink ball gag from the night before.

For a moment, for a few blinks of the eye, I only stare at the tall mercenary. Then I stand, drawing my blade, and hold it against his gut for a long moment. I let my anger and rage coalesce into my voice, into a cool, hard lance of sound. "You invited that one into my house. You invited death and destruction. This is my house, and I invited you gladly. But if you ever invite such danger into this house again, I will, and believe my words, I will castrate you.Got it? Just nod."

i take off the ball gag and say "the americans did that to me in vietnam they grew back" i smile rogueishly "bigger".

For a moment, I stare at him. Then I slap him, hard, and turn away. "Next time you have a sex-fest with one of the basic forces of creation, get a hotel room. Or you can find new quarters." I drop into a chair once more, glaring at him.

i shrug "and you dont think the force of death and destruction would be mad at my roommates for forcing us to go to a sleazy hotel in the nightside when i have lodgings here?" i continue "besides she cant be more destructive than me".

I shake my head very slowly. "I hope you never learn how false your words really are." The idiot never understands. He can't understand. The Bean Nigh...I shake my head, and dig back into my breakfast.
That was when the explosion hit.

the door is blown clean off its hinges and with the force of the explosion carries me down the hallway followed by a shotgun slug to the heart, i stand up dust myself off and yell "THATS MY NEW COAT YOU BITCH!".

With a yelp, I leap to the ground, then push to my knees and pull Lily down beside me, crying out notes to try and throw up a protection. I glance over my shoulder...and there's a valkeryie there.
Half her face is a mass of burn scar, the tissue warped and twisted like candle wax that has been in heat. The other side is beautiful and haughty, the eye the blue of ice. A river of gold hair pours down her shoulders, over her black leathers. I swallow hard. "Cac na balor..." Beside me, Lily makes a sound like a mouse that's been stepped on.
Suzie Shooter. Suzy Shooter, also known as 'Holy shit it's her, RUN!"
She steps forward as implacable as death itself, and the wards I set up push her back. With a small grin, she waves an amulet through the air, and I swallow as I feel my wards rip like paper. I can feel the house growling, growing angry, as she steps in.
"Ignacy Rumelo." she asks, her voice level and quiet, "You can come quiet or you can resist capture. Guess which one I'd like better?"

i draw my pistol in my right hand only for my arm to fall off following two shotgun blasts i raise my remaining hand above my head and get on my knees.

Her face impassive, the blonde valkyrie stepped forward. "You done yet? Cause I'm out of patience."

i put on my poker face "il cooperate".

The foremost bounty hunter in the Nightside smiled. "Good. Let's go."
Beneath my veils, I pant, trying to think of what to do....but there's nothing.

as she gets within walking distance of me i smile and conjure up a field of heat so hot it vaporizes all the insignia on my coat the field stops around my toes and starts i start running towards suzie shouting "ALLAHU ACKBAR!".

With barely a change of expression, the woman drops to one knee and sprays a long cold stream from a canister. I can feel it from here, that cold. Ignacy drops to the ground, choking and gasping. The woman smiles in a wintry way again. "Liquid nitrogen. Great stuff. Come along now."
Grabbing Ignacy by his remaining arm, she drags him out of our house, leaving a terrible silence.

i put on a cheery impression "on a scale from one to ten how did i do?".

The woman smiles a little. "Eh, I give you a four rusky. Now don't get on my nerves. There's paper on you. Serious paper."

i put on an annoyed face "me get on YOUR nerves!?" i continue "i was ravaged by the bean nighe last night i handgrenaded myself and was shot by a large calibre heavy machinegun and here i think this is gonna be a good day and you explode my door at me then shoot me with slugs taking one of my arms off and putting a bloody big hole in my coat not to mention foiling my master scheme which melted down all the insignia on the uniform" i gasp for air "and do you know how hard it is to find genuine waffen ss uniforms these days?" i add "and im german not russian".