Praise the lord!... OF DARKNESS!

as i get up i realize i have nothing to do i smile for myself and get dressed, after picking up the spiders a cup of coffe and a decent breakfast i go back into my room and say to the house "i need guns lots of guns!" since i get no reply from the house i frown and say "fine! be like that! see if i care!" and pick up an old AN-94 rifle i stole from some spetsnaz soldier when he assaulted me during my vacation in russia, i pick up a few other items amongst them a handgrenade a stick of dynamite and my sword and with sword at my waist and rifle over my back i walk out into the nightside,as a devious plan forms in my mind i find myself in the street of the gods and decide to visit the local church of christ, as i walk into the door im greeted by a nun of the salvation army sisterhood.

"Cause any trouble in here and I'll evescirate you, my son." the hard-faced nun said sharply. "This is a place of God, and we have no time for shenanigans. Keep it in mind." She makes the sign of the cross before moving away.

i sigh and whisper "you guys are worse than jehovas witnesses" i walk up to the nearest nun "wheres the abbess?".

"None of your business." the nun said, turning away. "Unless you have actual business with her."

i grin and offer my hand to shake and introduce myself "ignacy upcoming god of pyromancy" i look around me "i am in the market for real estate".

The nun's face hardens. "Get out before I get my uzi."

i clap my hands and smile smugly "now now is that any way to treat a potential customer?" my stare hardens "go get your uzi".

The nun frowns at the smiling man, until two of her sisters crack him across the head. Smiling, she knees him in the groin.Together, four nuns shove him out the door, leaving him groaning in the street.

i get up to my feet and dust myself off, i frown at the church and walk back in while unslinging my rifle, i shout "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" as i stride trough the door firing full automatic.

He only gets a few steps before a solid titanium door slams shut, cutting off the end of his rifle muzzle. Windows slam shut all around. The dark man looks a little bewildered. standing in the street and staring at his mutilated gun.

i discard the gun with a frown and get the dynamite out, i stick it near one of the windows and ignite it with my sword.

The blast rips away the surface facade of wood, leaving the titanium church wall bare. "By all the saints," roars a voice through a bullhorn, "What does it take to get you to go away, asshole?"

i i frown and as a thought forms in my mind i shrug and say "id go away for a bottle of wine".

Almost instantly, a bottle comes flying from a window. "Now be off with you, and may the hounds of hell rend you for attacking a holy shrine!"

i catch the bottle and turn around only to find a large crowd having gathered around me i look at them questioningly "what?".

With a volley of curses, the nuns send him on his way.

"That was quite the thing." The voice at his elbow so close as to make him flinch away involuntarily before looking down to see a slender thing at his shoulder, strawberry hair tied up in a knot, one eyebrow raised and her hands on her hips. "Not trying to get out of our date, are you?"

i smile "if i were trying to get out of this date you would be on fire now and i would be running".

Scowling prettily, she taps his chest, actually bruising his sternum with no visible effort. "Not a good idea in the best of times, pet."

i wince and say "im not a very smart man and what do you mean by pet?".

Smiling, she cuddles into Ignacy's side as the people on the street begin to register her and back away, some holding their self-control just long enough to slip around a corner before the sounds of running steps echo. "Aww... poor Ignacy is frightened of what I'm going to do with him?" she baby talks as she traces patterns on his broad chest.

i shrug "no but i am noones pet not even yours" i think for a moment "maybe a puppet never a pet though".

"And I was going to set you out to stud too," she pouts, hanging off his arm.

i smile "fine as long as you dont make me drag you round town in a cart with a saddle on my back".

She steps back, hands on her hips, an indignant look on her face. "I can honestly say the though never crossed my mind," she protests, even as the echo of a smile twitches at the corner of her lips. Stepping behind, she slowly examines the large man, circling him as a serious collector might a work of art. "At least tell me you were planning on cleaning up before tonight," she admonishes as she ends up facing him again. "Your a mess and you reek of glycerin and sulfur."